Those early weeks with a newborn? We imagine them as quiet, blissful bonding sessions -- baby curled up on our chest, milk flowing, everything instinctively falling into place.
For many parents, the reality is sore nipples. It's waking up for the fifth time that night, wondering if your baby's getting enough milk. It's exhaustion so deep you forget what day it is.
A recent Tommee Tippee UK survey, which polled over 1,000 mothers about their feeding experiences in the first year postpartum, found that nearly 9 in 10 began their feeding journey wanting to breastfeed. Yet more than half (52%) stopped sooner than they planned. The reasons included physical pain, mental health struggles, low milk supply, and feeling like they had to figure it out alone.
These numbers tell a bigger story: one about the emotional toll of unmet expectations, and the urgent need for more support and less judgment when it comes to feeding our babies.
The reality behind the numbers
When researchers asked why breastfeeding ended earlier than planned, the answers revealed the weight of the challenges:
Add sleepless nights, physical recovery, and the pressure to "get feeding right," and it's easy to see why many parents felt they had no choice but to stop.
How feeding struggles can leave a mark
Feeding a baby is physical work that carries a deep emotional load.
In this survey, half of moms felt ashamed when they couldn't breastfeed, and 48% felt judged. That kind of shame can fuel postpartum anxiety or depression, and it often silences parents when they most need to speak up. Without support, the cycle of stress and self-blame can deepen, making recovery -- in every sense of the word -- even harder.
Maternal mental health experts warn that this kind of shame can intensify postpartum anxiety or depression. Shame also has a silencing effect. Mothers who feel judged are less likely to reach out for help, whether that's a lactation consultant to troubleshoot latching issues or a mental health professional to support emotional recovery. And without that support, the cycle of stress and self-blame can deepen.
Why even the best-laid plans can change
Birth complications such as emergency cesarean sections or postpartum hemorrhage can delay milk production. Conditions like mastitis, tongue-tie in the baby, or insufficient glandular tissue may cause pain or low supply. And the cumulative stress of sleep deprivation, physical recovery, and adjusting to new routines can make sustained breastfeeding harder to manage.
Feeding is a whole-body process, shaped by circumstances, health, and the support available.
What moms actually need instead of pressure
The survey shows a gap between what parents want and the support they receive.
Experts point to four types of help that can make a real difference:
There's more than one way to nourish your baby
Every feeding journey looks different, and every path -- whether it's breast, bottle, pumping, formula, or a mix -- is a loving one.
If your journey took turns you didn't expect, your story could be exactly what another parent needs to hear. When we share the hard moments and the small victories, we replace judgment with understanding, creating a community where every new parent feels supported.