We recently asked former funeral home employees of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what secrets and stories they have from the job. Here are some of their wild and most interesting answers:
Note: Some submissions were sourced from Reddit.
1."My first husband worked for a funeral home when we were engaged. It was during the '90s, and he was paid $150 each night to go out and pick up deceased individuals from hospitals. Even though we really needed the money, he was super scared - so I started going out with him. On the first night, I realized what it was he was talking about because it was a long drive to the funeral home, and during the ride, the body would make some sounds. Sometimes, it would be passing gas often, and it would sound like a moan, or there would be some movements. It didn't bother me because of the money I was able to overlook it, but after a couple of weeks, he stopped going. He couldn't take it."
-- evebrown
2."I worked as a receptionist for a few years. I have many stories, but this one sticks out the most. Once, we had a man who had passed away, and his wife had refused to let the funeral directors do any embalming until the son could get a release from jail to come see him. All of the directors begged and begged her to let them do the bare minimum since the body was decomposing. Finally, they were able to get the son in, but the father was already blue and purple."
-- Anonymous
3."Sometimes, an embalming will turn out less than ideal based on a number of factors. Did the deceased take certain meds? How long has this person been deceased? What was the temperature of the body when embalming started? Embalming is as much an art as it is a science, and it's important for families to keep a realistic frame of mind once a passing has occurred. Your loved one will likely look different than you remember, and that's to be expected. Embalming doesn't stop the decomposition process. it only slows it down!"
-- Anonymous
4."We have to use universal precaution all the time. When a funeral home gets the call to pick someone up who has died, we never know what we're getting into until we arrive at the location. We're taught to use universal precautions at all times because dead human bodies are extremely biohazardous and can make someone sick with a number of diseases at any time. I have been on many house calls where the person was not found for four days to four weeks during the hot summer months. The state of some bodies is very bad, and the living conditions are usually not much better. So, to protect ourselves from diseases, we must wear the appropriate PPE (protective personal equipment) and gloves whenever handling human remains or waste."
-- Anonymous
5."Embalming is a really disgusting practice, with no safety regulations around what happens to the blood and body fluids coming out of the body that floats down the drain. The same can be said for the left over chemicals, which are also rinsed in the sink. Embalming is for preservation (long enough to have a viewing), restoration (to give an appearance the person is sleeping), and sanitation (for the germaphobes out there), but it does not stop decay altogether. Eventually, all embalmed bodies look like zombies!"
-- Anonymous
6."I was removing a female decedent from a home, and the front porch stairs were steep. She wasn't strapped onto the stretcher well enough,h and she slid down as my partner and I went down the stairs. Her legs spread around me as I was at the foot of the stretcher. It looked...um...bad. I was horrified. So was the family."
-- davebrumley
7."A large plastic screw goes in the deceased person's butt to prevent...leakage."
-- u/windy444
8."My dad was a funeral director and embalmer. He picked up a body from a nursing home, and when he went to make the incision, the lady moaned, and blood started coming out of the incision. He called the nursing home, who apparently made a mistake. They sent the ambulance to the funeral home and took her back to the nursing home, where she actually expired a few hours later. Never seen Pop so freaked out."
-- u/Bripirate
9."My fiancé says the first thing he always does is glue the eyes shut because they have a habit of opening when processing the body."
-- u/HiddenMica
10."My grandfather was a funeral director and my dad worked there as a kid. He said it wasn't uncommon for a body to exhale suddenly, sometimes with some vocalization."
-- u/DoctorBre
11."Before funerals, the bodies get their jaws glued or wired shut so the mouth doesn't hang open at the service."
-- u/SalamandrAttackForce
12."One of my best friends works in a funeral home. Y'all would be surprised by how many people require to be buried with spandex or shapewear on."
-- atxart
13."I dated a guy once who worked at a funeral home. He told me a story about a gnat problem an hour before an open-casket funeral. They couldn't get rid of the bugs flying around the body, so he had to get one of those repellent candles and lit it behind the casket so no one would see it. They also sprayed the body from head to toe with repellent."
-- shellsrenee
14."You have to have a strong stomach and not be bothered by smells. Lots of people pee and poop themselves, blood stinks after having sat for a while, and the smell of a decomposing body is something you'll never forget."
-- stirfry123
15."One of my closest friends is a funeral director. It's a calling, for sure. She says that one of the hardest parts is that she's never really off the clock. She could be in the middle of Christmas dinner with her family and get a call, and she HAS to go."
-- chrisa443ec9017
16."So the deceased person was a collector of wind-up toys. Before the casket was closed, family and friends lined up to say goodbye and placed wind-up toys in the casket as tribute. Later, as we brought the casket into the church, one of like a zillion wind-up toys went off. People were turning their heads back in pews with horrified looks on their faces because they had gone straight to the church and didn't see the family place the toys in there."
-- u/inexile1234
17.And finally "The only thing I will say is if you don't want your cats or dogs nibbling on you after death, don't get cats or dogs. I've seen the pictures."
-- lucycupcake31
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.