Dear Eric: I am a 70-year-old woman who has a wonderful husband. I have some health issues, including cognitive impairment. For this reason, I do not drive, and I depend on my husband for all shopping and doctor's appointments. Do you have any advice for making social connections?
-- Lonely
Dear Lonely: Making and maintaining social connections is going to look a little different at this point than perhaps it did in the past. This is neither good nor bad; change happens. But the fact that you have a desire to make connections is a fantastic first step.
There's evidence that socializing can help with cognitive performance, as well. A 2021 study by the Center for Healthy Aging at Penn State found that when adults ages 70 and 90 experienced more frequent social interactions, they also had better cognitive performance on that day.
Look into programs at your local senior center or YMCA and enlist your husband's help in adding events that interest you to the calendar so that you can get there and get back.
It's important to consider socialization as another crucial aspect of your healthcare, along with medical appointments and errands. These types of organizations often offer classes as well, which can be a great way to meet new people and meet you where you are cognitively.
There might be things you and your husband want to do together, or you may find programs that only appeal to you.
You may also want to be proactive about reaching out to friends and relatives and inviting them over to visit. You don't have to throw an elaborate lunch or even make tea.
You can be honest about your capacity, if it makes you more comfortable, saying something like, "I'd love to see you. I'm not in a place where I can formally host anymore, but it would be wonderful to catch up." Friends might welcome the opportunity to reconnect and to show you love.
For friends who aren't nearby, try catching up over the phone or video chat.
Lastly, talk to your neurologist about finding local support groups for you and for your husband. These can be great resources for new strategies and for social connection.